One morning during April/May 2011, I arrived at my country club. Tom called me over and said, "I've got stomach cancer. " I remember that, like it was yesterday. "When are you going to have surgery"?..."There is no surgery, it's inoperable. Going to get chemotherapy. Should start soon".
All 5 or 6 of us in our small golf group, must have been in some form of shock. We golfed with Tom that day, but none of us brought up anything or pried further about his condition. We watched Tom take the lead and we sort of numbly followed him around the course. After all, Tom was a former club champion and was able to kick most of our butts whether he was healthy or not.
For about six months, Tom went through a regimented course of chemotherapy. "Big Gun" therapy as I now call it. They blast you full of "high test poison", then give you a week off for a breather and the following week it's back to the big guns again. When Tom was having his off week he would play golf. He didn't play just once, he played four times during most of those weeks. I played in his group on Wednesdays and Fridays. We did this for many months after his diagnosis. At times I felt bad for Tom. I knew he was struggling to maintain his good play and it frustrated him. We all saw his pain and some times we heard him cry out. Tom was tough, and I tried to tell myself...he'll handle it. Onward our group trudged, hitting shot after shot, hole after hole, week after week... it was Tom's will. This was a personal battle and he was leading us soldiers through his war. I have never experienced anything like it in my life. Trust me, Tom was kind and compassionate, but he was the toughest man I ever met!
Tom left us for a much better place about a year ago. As for me, I'm not much of a believer in coincidence. I believe that I was in that golf group for a reason. A far deeper and more spiritual reason than I could have ever imagined.
People are very scared when they get this kind of cancer and they have every right to be. Too many people give up and never have a chance to recover. Many people don't know how to mentally cope with the disease. I believe anyone can develop the mindset needed to bring enough confidence to fight hard. Of course having a playbook detailing what to expect along this hard road is a nice thing to have. Whether it was by pure fate or by Tom's design, I know not, but he left me his playbook. I know what to expect in advance and it gives me comfort and confidence. It has allayed my fears and it has significantly played into my reasons for writing this blog.
During Tom's most difficult hours, I know he looked this "Devil" in the eye and growled. I just know it!
well i think that u r doing the same as tom u r looking right into the devils face n telling 2 go right back from where he came go the hell i think ur friend tom was a tough guy but he has nothing on u my friend stay frosty n give them hell Billy
ReplyDeleteMy old friend, all your encouragement is much appreciated. Who would have ever dreamed we would end up in a forum like this so many years later. Keep bringing it...love ya man
DeleteYou are an excellent writer dear brother. I love how your stories unfold with depth and layers of encouragement and wisdom. I enjoy reading them very much. I am standing in agreement with all those who love you and know you are like a Viking in a battle to WIN! Love you...Birdie~
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