If my past medical experiences have taught me anything, I would be best off to
ignore the doctors prognosis. Every time I have gotten a doom and gloom
prognosis it has thrown me into a tailspin. It was no different, when several
weeks ago a physician told me that I only had a short time to live…my cancer
had spread and surgery was no longer an option. I need surgery to survive this
disease and for a couple of weeks I fell into depression. I didn't trust my
faith and I didn't bend over, grab that root and growl. I failed myself by not
trusting my instincts and I should have, because trust has always been a great
ally of mine, as you will see…
The "Grandma Mafia" trial was national media news. Television trucks
from all the national and local networks were parked in front of the Federal
District Courthouse in Los Angeles. I testified for 10 grueling days in that
trial and the "Grandma Mafia" case became a featured segment on the
television news show 20/20.
Needless say it was that undercover role that launched my government career in
a new direction. My work had caught the attention of important people in
Washington and undercover program managers from around the various regions of
the United States. It wasn't long before I received a request for assignment
from Gene, the Southwest Region’s Undercover Program Manager. Imagine that,
they had a money launderer in Dallas…I only thought those people existed in
Miami and Los Angeles...just kidding, but little did I know that working in
Texas would become a life-changing experience, and all for the better.
Gene was the first person I met when I arrived in Dallas and the first thing we
did was go to a bar. Going to a bar for a little “truth serum” parlay was his
way of finding out if I had "the right stuff" for his Texas style
undercover assignments. How do you not have an affinity for a guy that refers
to his Italian wife as "The Dego", has a basset hound named Beaux,
and places his football bets with a Louisiana bookie, who just happens to be his
mother! It’s the truth, I swear!
To get the full picture for what I was in for, you have to understand that Gene
worked directly for Glenn. Glenn was the Assistant Regional Commissioner (ARC)
for the Southwest Region. Glenn was the number one honcho in the Southwest and
his badge, numbered "1", said
it all. Hell, my badge number was four digits long. Glenn's closest friends
referred to him as "His Arcship". Glenn drove the government
"Arcmobile" and talked on his mobile "Arcphone". Glenn's
cattle ranch was in the metropolis of Maypearl, Texas, population closer
to zero than a thousand. To me, Glenn was living proof that everything was
bigger, grander and more ostentatious in Texas. His swimming pool was designed
in the exact shape of our Federal badge. Of course he had the number "1" tiled in the plaster at the
shallow end of the pool. Who has a urinal installed in the ranch house powder
room…Glenn did. I felt like pearl
handled six-guns were required wear when you walked up to his bar. Glenn was
quick to boast that the back bar cabinetry was made from a favorite headboard
of one of his beds…if furniture could only talk!
I had Sunday BBQ with Glenn at that fine cattle ranch and were often joined by
Gene and "The Dego" and Beaux. It was all great Southern hospitality
but it was also their way of getting to know me. If they were going to invest
in my so-called undercover talents they also needed to know if they could trust
me.
The Southwest was a whole new culture for me. It was a laid-back, line dancing,
Texas two-stepping fun time in my life. Gene and Glenn came to trust my
judgment, so they always had my back. They reduced my stress level and most of
all it made my work fun.
I
knew I had their full trust and confidence, when one day Gene said, "Ralphie
always puts the bread on the table". I went on to work undercover on a
number of cases in Dallas, Houston and San Antonio. Throw in a case in El Paso,
Corpus Christie and a couple in New Orleans...Hell, seemed like I spent a
career working for those good old boys in the Southwest.
I was very fortunate and made a number of very good friends while working in
Texas. But there was no better friend than Tucker. Tuck was also an undercover
agent working for Gene. He had his own little ranch in Maypearl where he raised
thoroughbred horses. Undercover agents are meant to fool people. They come in
all shapes and sizes and Tuck was no exception. He had blacksmith’s hands, with
big bones, thick fingers and an iron grip. If you went to his ranch you might
see him wearing chaps and shoeing horses…but when Tuck worked undercover, he wore
monogrammed everything! His shirts, ties, socks and underwear...I mean
everything was monogrammed. Hey what can I say, undercover agents are quirky.
In his day Tuck could drink, gamble and line dance with the best of 'em. That
was the undercover Tucker…but that wasn't what Tucker was about. The real
Tucker is a gentle soul and a deeply religious Christian. We met in the
middle 80s and remain very good
friends to this day. Tuck has seen me through my battle with throat cancer and
this current malady that I face. Tuck and his prayer group pray for me daily
and I believe that those prayers and the prayers of many others have gotten me
through my illnesses. I trust Tuck when he tells me that I will prevail.
Over the years, many people placed a lot of trust in me. Just like Glenn and
Gene, many other government officials risked plenty when they supported me in
high-risk undercover operations. Ending up in the funny papers was never an
option for government executives.
This past week I had a CT scan. The scan showed that my chemotherapy treatments
have moved things in the right direction. There was regression of the cancer in
my liver and some positive regression of the tumor in my pancreas. This is a
far cry from the news I received a few weeks ago. I have a wonderful pancreatic
surgeon at the City of Hope that I have placed my trust and faith in. He went
over my scan with me and he has not ruled out the future possibility of doing
surgery. My surgeon and I are on this journey together and when he says the
time is right, I trust in him that he will give me his best shot.
I am not a hard read. I’m sure by now you know that trust has played a major
roll in my life. I have been fortunate throughout my life to trust the right
people and circumvent those that were not so trustworthy. It is now my time to
trust again. Trust those that pray for me, that their prayers will be
answered…but most of all, when the going gets tough, you all can trust that I
will bend over, grab a root and growl.
