"BAG 'EM DANNO"
My Kathryn goes with me for my chemotherapy treatments. I can drive, so she doesn't have to be there for the 8 to 10 hour stint. She goes because this is her journey also. Kathryn is a veteran, she has been through all the health wars with me. When you're in trouble one needs veterans around. My veteran knows my every move, my every thought, she knows what's going on with me at all times, she is my advocate, my rock and she has saved my life more than once.
A doctor was standing over me with a very large syringe ready to plunge right into my heart when Kathryn jumped up and said, "Stop! Don't do that, he's only got gas!" NOW THAT'S HOW MY ADVOCATE SPEAKS FOR ME. (I needed that to lighten things up) If you follow along you will catch my drift.
Something quite similar to that incident really did happen in 2009. If Kathryn wasn't my advocate at the hospital that morning, demanding that the ER doctors to do a CT scan of my chest, I may have died from an undiagnosed pulmonary embolism. I subsequently spent 10 days in that hospital dissolving the blood clot.
Everyone facing a desperate life threatening situation needs humor to get them through. It lifts the spirits and allows for gaining strength and most of all confidence. Tears and crying are not bad things, they help to release all the pent up emotion and shock. Those feelings are as important as anything, but then we have to work on...moving on, there' life to live! Permanently remaining in a depressed state of mind is torture for you, as well as family members and is the perfect recipe for doom. No matter how bad it is, exercise daily, even if it's nothing more than just a short walk. Don't lay around watching TV and vegetate!
When you get far along in your personal journey, your mind may be your only weapon. Drugs and all medical science may have run their best course. You must will your body's natural defenses to work for you and that can only be done by your positive thinking and your innate belief that you will survive. You have to bend over, reach down, grab a root and growl and most of all you must believe...you must be tough.
When you crash and burn so to speak, or just do something plain stupid, try to stand back, take a deep breath and you will find some way to laugh at it. Even while doing it through those frustrated tears.
Your mind is your greatest weapon and may be your only weapon. Trust me I know. It has given me the confidence to fight great adversities in my life. Doctors wrote me off on numerous occasions. One even called me a salvage operation.
This is what I thought about that opinion: "Book 'em Danno", which was a statement made famous on TV's Hawaii Five-0 and also happened often for me during my law enforcement career. I put bad guys in the federal penitentiary and one bad guy I know is doing a life term.
Now the phrase, "Bag 'em Danno" doesn't belong here. Why, because I don't believe it applies just yet. I know that something will break loose for me again. Perhaps something unusual, unheard of or even confounding to my doctors, will occur. If you believe as I do, it can happen for you...no one has anything to lose. When you get up each day, think to yourself how much better you will feel in a year, two years. Refuse the temptation to let your mind slip to the dark side of the force.
Many of my loved ones, friends and colleagues over the years have told me that I am like a cat with nine lives. It's another viewpoint but I'll take it and run with it. Right now I need another cat and I'm damn sure I haven't used them all up!
And by the way I did undercover meetings using the Oahu Ilikai hotel suite that featured Jack Lord in the opening scene of the original Hawaii Five-0 TV series. There were a lot of book 'em and bag "em Danno scenes in that show, and a few in my case.
I completed my second chemotherapy treatment yesterday, spending 10 hours at the City of Hope. Now I am home, hooked up to my last chemo bag and a small pump for the next 48 hours. The next few days are my worst and really it's not all that bad. I'll be back in two weeks with a smiley face, to do it all over again.
In the meantime, I will return to the golf links next week with the mindset that I will score my age...some year in the distant future. <;-)
Ralph I am sure Kay keeps the doctors in line. I hope you score your age next week in your golf game.
ReplyDeleteJim d'Alelio
Thanks Jim, but I think a 69 is a bit optimistic even for me.
ReplyDeleteMom's a pretty good advocate, that's for sure. She spent her fare share of hours with me in ER growing up. I have to admit, you're becoming somewhat of a great philosopher here pop. Every post makes one take a deeper look inside at him/herself.
ReplyDeleteYou probably don't know this, but just as much as this blog helps you with you're journey, it helps others with theirs too.
Don't stop blogging. Keep it going even after you've kicked the crap outta cancer.
Big love!
That is one of the nicest kindest compliments i have gotten.
ReplyDeleteBig Love back at ya,
Pop
Wow! You are an amazing spirit, I am in awe. You know what matters and you continue to speak your truth so keep on keeping on. Love Jolli Jogi
ReplyDeleteRalph: Its all our journey because we're with you and Kay, maybe not every step of the way because we can't understand each little piece, but along the road. Who knows, amidst the love and laughter I find on my own troubled way, I might try a growl or two. You are giving me lessons as you write, so I might get it right. Maura
ReplyDeleteYou give us all something to think about! Thank you and thanks Kay for being such a great advocate
ReplyDeleteHi Rick
ReplyDeleteI loved what you said about the power of thought, "your mind might be the only weapon" - I completely identifiy with this - my perspective and attitude are my most powerful allies. Of course I bring my concept of God into the equaition.
You are so right there is still life to be lived and we all have this life to live so how are we going to receive it and live it.
One of my closest friends (lived across the streeet from me) died of breast cancer in January. She batteled cancer for 5 years leaving behind two boys ages 9 and 12. We were pregnant together and raised our babies together. She was such an example of dignity and grace and she was amazing through the whole process. I am forever greatful for her courage, hope, love, and strength - that was such a gift for me. He memories are alive in my mind.
What a blessing it is to have Katherine as your partner who brings humor, love, and support - Thank you Katherine for being there in many ways.
Will talk to you soon,
Naomi