OH MAN, I DIDN'T SEE THIS ONE COMING

Life's not fair, you sometimes say...that's nothing but a crock. I fight for my life just like I fight for the things I believe in. I believe in my heart that I will be here much longer than these doctors expect I will. When you get this kind of crap news, doctors begin to talk to you in terms of months "to go", not years.

I flat did not expect this...I thought wait a minute! That's  not the plan! My doctors always referred to years remaining, not months! As limited as those years were, they created a comfort zone between me and my galloping soul, which seems far too anxious to find greener pastures.

In 1964 they gave me five years with a diagnosis of a terminal lung condition "histiocytosis X". In 1998 after two heart attacks in Mexico, the cardiologist gave me five years if I did not receive a heart transplant. Too much heart muscle damage. Since then, bouts of congestive heart failure have left me hospitalized for brief periods in such glorious places as Mazatlan, Mexico and Petra, Jordan. Too much salt in those foreign diets I suspect.

Then came 2007... Squamous  Cell cancer in my neck lymph nodes. Operations followed, lots of them, as the cancer roared back after each surgery. Doctors advised and then pleaded with me to get radiation and chemotherapy treatment on my head and neck. I knew that the treatment had terrible side affects, so I opted for a quality of life future instead. True growlers are allowed to do that....opt out that is, and do their own thing.

And oh baby, did all that growling pay off. In June 2010 my wonderful team of doctors at the City of Hope found the tumor causing all these cancerous lymph nodes. The primary tumor surfaced at the base of my tongue in a very difficult spot to reach. My surgeons offered to do the operation using the Da Vinci robot...a first time adventure for them in this type of throat cancer surgery.

I could fill volumes talking about my "all star" female team of surgeons. Extremely talented, gifted, skilled, innovative, dedicated, young and beautiful... just doesn't quite get it done. But I know they're all growlers...I'm sure of it...they are my idea of Seal Team 6.

Since the operation I have tested clear of throat cancer. It's been six years since I was first diagnosed! Yes, I like years!

Like with the flip of a light switch, I am now thrown into the months category or perhaps extending my months by doing chemotherapy treatments. My latest doctors/surgeons/oncologist are great. They are formidable experts at what we are dealing with, but they don't know with whom they're dealing with.  I'm going to let them do their job and I'm going to do mine.

As you might guess, I'm just going to reach down, grab another root and growl! Months will grow into years.

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