"SQUARE ONE"

In the late 1980’s I was the lead undercover agent in an investigation my agency called "Operation Deep Snow". Terry was a person of interest that I had previously met in South Lake Tahoe...he was overly confident, brash, smooth talking, but most of all he was very greedy.

A couple of months later, I was in a hotel room in Dallas, Texas working another undercover money laundering investigation when Terry called me. He reminded me that we had met briefly in Tahoe . Although I didn't know his full name, the very cocky Terry Trupp was quick to blurt it out. Surprisingly he followed up claiming that he was the Mayor of South Lake Tahoe. Trupp sounded elated when he boasted that he was calling me from the city council chambers! I could hear voices in the background. "Is this guy for real!", I asked myself...no one chances talking about this stuff over the telephone???

Indeed, if what he was saying was true I had some mad man by the tail,  who loved living on the edge and got off talking about dirty money in the presence of his colleagues. From our previous meeting in Tahoe, Trupp already knew that my business was laundering drug money, and I now knew he wanted in for his piece of “American Pie”...he also wanted me to get him a 100 kilos of cocaine...a pretty tall order for any would-be trafficker, especially for a Mayor.

I could usually find something that I liked in most of the crooks I befriended. Since this investigation lasted nearly 20 months it would've made it easier for me if I could've found something in Terry that I liked...I just couldn't get there with him. The Mayor was in his mid 40s and his wife, Kim, was about 21 years old, and an absolute knockout. Terry had no problem boasting that Kim was his former stepdaughter and poured out some sordid details about her mid-teenage years when he was married to her mother! Please don't let your mind wander too far this is a family blog PG-13.

I never let my undercover work with the bad guys become personal. It was always strictly business. Social dinners and drinking yes, but the topics always turned to business. Not so with the Mayor and his doper, bodyguard, and alleged hit-man and partner in crime...Tom Tamez. These guys were such sleaze bags that I took a personal interest sticking it to them hard. Hoping... no praying, they would get maximum prison sentences. Tamez was a prime suspect in two unsolved murders, an expert in martial arts who allegedly could put your eye out with the flip of a matchbook cover. One day Tamez said he wanted to have a serious talk with me. He directed me through knee-high snow out into the woods. I could tell by Tamez's demeanor that he was trying his best to instill fear in me and he meant me harm if our conversation did not go well. Trust me, he had my attention. Since I am writing this I guess you can tell how my walk "In the deep snow" turned out. I'm still standing, unscathed... probably because I came across more ruthless then Tamez expected. All Tamez succeeded in doing with this walk in the deep snow was burying himself in additional prison time.  The look of the snow rather reminded me of high quality coca. I hope Tamez enjoyed the sparkly snowflake powder walk... I know I did. It was game on, and my adrenaline was pumping.

In the end about 20 or so people in the South Lake Tahoe area were arrested. Casino employees, doctors and real estate agents were among some of the others prosecuted. The Federal government seized cocaine, cash and a cache of weapons. I genuinely felt sorry for Kim, the Mayors’ young wife...she served Federal prison time. I don't think she ever had a fair shot at life, being married to that petifiler at such a young age. For me it was never personal with her, it was strictly business. Trupp loved showing her off. Kim was always with Trupp,  in the wrong place at the wrong time, but did she really have a choice? It would be a miracle if this blog ever circulated to her, but I would like her to  know my feelings.

Just recently, I have encountered some severe abdominal cramps. They come and they go. Doubts and fears try to creep into my mind. Is this pain, pancreas related or is it a more simple explanation, a non-life-threatening explanation? If I allow fear to take over, I most certainly will be history...and my positive attitude will be set back to "square one". Most of us see fear as a weakness. Tamez certainly would have sensed fear if I showed it during our "walk in the deep snow". Most likely I would've lost in any physical confrontation, since I was unarmed and no match for him.  But now, just like then, I will never let fear take over and push me back to death's door...back to "square one".

In my undercover work with Mayor Terry Trupp, I intentionally put fear into him. I portrayed myself as an unsavory criminal. I needed the control.  So I had to be ruthless...simply because failure was not an option.

Failure is never an option not then, not now.

Currently I must be ruthless with myself. I must channel my fear to make me stronger. I can't physically control the disease that rages within me; but I can control regressing to "square one".  F**k "square one".  F**k cancer!

Click here to leave a comment!